When someone close to you receives a diagnosis of a serious illness, it will an incredibly difficult time for them and everyone close to them. If you’ve never experienced a situation like this, you might not know how to support them or even what to say. For both the patient and their loved ones, it’s a difficult and confusing time to navigate. But there are ways to support a friend going through a health crisis.

Say Something

You might be at a loss for words, but saying something is better than nothing. You can even tell them you don’t know what to say and they might feel the exact same way. The important thing is that you acknowledge how difficult this is for them and that you’re there for support.

Make It About Them

You can experience feelings of hopelessness and sadness, but your friend who’s sick isn’t the person you should go to for comfort. Otherwise, you’re making the situation more about yourself than them, and that’s probably the last thing you want to happen. Talk to a counselor or a mutual friend to deal with your fears about the situation.

Be Specific When Offering Help

You might be tempted to tell them, “Let me know what I can do to help,” but that’s putting the burden on them and not you. When you’re offering help, be specific in the ways you can help. Put your efforts towards organizing a crowdfunding or a card writing campaign. Bring them their favorite food or reach out to them via texts or phone calls.

No Medical Advice

This is not the time to become a medical expert. Your friend has a healthcare team that can answer questions about their condition. If they need assistance with finding healthcare, you can help them with that or all the new things they’ll have to learn about.

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Normalcy

People who are sick don’t want you or anyone to constantly remind them that they are sick. As a friend, you can help them feel normal by talking to them about all the things you talked about before their diagnosis. It doesn’t—and shouldn’t— be all about their illness. One of the best ways to support a friend going through a health crisis is to listen to them, be available, and be the good friend you’ve always been.