A Utah mom is upset about a school policy in which sixth grade girls can’t say “no” when boys ask them to dance.

The mom says it sends the wrong message to the young students. Natalie Richard said she didn’t believe the policy at first. Her daughter is a student at Kanesville Elementary. “The teacher said, ‘She can’t. She has to say yes. She has to accept.’ And I said, ‘Excuse me?'” Richard said.

She took her concerns to the school principal. “He basically just said they’ve had this dance set up this way for a long time and they’ve never had any concerns before,” Richard said.

Lane Findlay, with the Weber School District, confirms it’s a rule, but it’s meant to teach students how to be inclusive. “Please be respectful, be polite. We want to promote kindness and so we want you to say yes when someone asks you to dance,” Findlay said.

“I do see it from their perspective when it comes to that but there are many other ways to teach children how to be accepting than with a social dance,” Richard said. Natalie says forcing students not to say no teaches them the wrong lesson.

Prior to the dance, which is voluntary, students are told to fill out a card, selecting five people they want to dance with. And the administration says if there’s someone on the card you feel uncomfortable with, the student is encouraged to speak up.

Natalie says rejection is part of life and at the end of the day, this policy is sending impressionable children the wrong message.

Wednesday during the Text-in Topic, part of the Weekday Wake-up on SVI Radio, Duke & Dahl asked listeners if they agreed with the mother or the school policy.  Here are the responses.

Agree With School Policy

“I agree with the school because when I was in the 6th grade and we had dances there was this one boy who wanted to dance and not one girl would dance with him.  He was the most picked on child in school.  He was teased and harassed because he was short and overweight after he went through the whole line of girls.  He would walk off with a sad look but a smile on his face and dance with himself.  I know he was crying on the inside.”

“People are just looking for something to complain about.  That’s how they have done they dances for years so people can get over themselves.”

“I think it falls to the parents. I am all for girls having the right to say no. Especially if they are scared or nervous around the boy. But I have six boys and I teach them to know the difference between hurting a girls feelings and it not being appropriate. I think that can go both ways.”

“Its just a dance- give the kid a break- dance with him.”

Agree With Mom

“How can you expect parents to be OK with telling their daughters that they HAVE to dance with a boy?  The school is over-reaching.  Adults may not know all of the dynamics between the students and that  “poor little boy” might be tormenting that girl.  It’s good practice for boys to be turned down.  Step up your game!”

“Not everybody’s a winner.  Not everybody should get a trophy.  Not everyone gets the girl.  Rejection it’s part of life.”

“Wrong, wrong!!  Girls always need to be able to say NO.  Young gentlemen need to learn they have no right to force anything on anyone and I raised 4 boys!”

“I have so many issues with this whole scenario I’m not exactly sure where to start.  These are sixth grade students.  Why are they holding boy ask girl dances in elementary school?  Let kids be kids.  There’s plenty of time for awkward school dances in middle school and high school.  Then there’s the whole idea that boys are the ones who ask girls to dance.  That’s so archaic.  If a girl wants to dance with someone, she can ask.  This is 2018 for crying out loud.  And should I even go into the idea that the school is pushing the message that saying no is not polite?  Seriously?  That’s a generation of relationship disasters waiting to happen, to say nothing of creating the perfect mindset for predators to take advantage of.  The school is so far of line on this it’s mind boggling.”

“I think a girl should not only have the right to say no…but be encouraged to say no if she feels uncomfortable.  It may be uncomfortable to a boy if a girl says no….but why is that any different than a girls discomfort dancing with a partner she does not want to be with?”

“Young girl should have the right to say yes or no just like the young boy has the right to ask or not.”