As your parents get older, they’ll likely go one of two ways when accepting help: they’ll welcome it with open arms, or they’ll straight-up refuse it. Those who turn it down can sometimes take care of themselves just fine, but other times, they’re struggling and too stubborn to accept help. Whichever the case, there are ways to check in on your older parents periodically that should help give you peace of mind while still allowing them to do things on their own.

Call or Video Chat When You Can

Since you can’t always be by your parents’ side, the best thing you can do is talk to them whenever you have a free minute. Phone calls are usually the way they’d prefer it, but if you have kids, they may want to video chat to see them. Calls don’t even have to last for a long time. You can ask them how their day has been and how they’re feeling, tell them you love them, and end the call. Doing this every day or two is a great way to stay connected.

Get Them a Smart Device That Can Track Them

If you’re worried that they might be keeping things from you, you could get them a smartwatch that can track their location and vital signs. However, you shouldn’t get them something like this and not tell them about it. We’d recommend talking to them about the features hidden inside. Being honest will help you reach a compromise, such as “If you let me track you, I won’t keep asking how you’re doing.” Of course, there’s no guarantee it’ll work, but knowing how their vital signs are doing has many benefits for you and them.

Ask Their Friends How They’re Doing

If they turn down the smartwatch idea, it might be worth tracking down a couple of their friends and asking them how your parents are doing. Once again, this can be an enormous breach of trust, but it’s worth considering if you are worried about their well-being and they’re stubborn.

Visit Them Regularly

We don’t like the idea of going behind their backs, so here’s another suggestion for being more direct. It’s difficult for them to turn you away if you show up at their front door. Once you’re inside, you can figure out more information about how well they’re doing and if there are any problems. Hopefully, while you’re there, they might accept some help for the time being.

Move In With Them

In the end, no matter which ways to check in on your older parents you try to use, they might not work. That’s when you need to offer to stay with them for a while. Don’t try to convince them to come to you—they’ll be much more resistant to that. Going to their place still gives them the sense of independence that they need.